Sunday, 27 March 2016

Five More Kamen Rider Characters Everyone Hates

 It's been five years since I posted the Ten Most Hated Kamen Rider Characters list, and since then, we've seen a lot of new characters come and ago. Some of them have been assholes. Let's have another list!

 My rules for this list are that I can only discuss characters that have been in series from the year 2010 onwards. If you're reading through this list thinking I left someone out, and they're from a show that aired prior to 2010, chances are they're on the first list. Particularly if their name starts with K and they're a massive racist.

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

5 Kamen Riders I Have Loved and Lost

 You may have noticed my last update was in 2011. I didn't forget to update or abandon this blog - that's just the normal update schedule for this blog, one post every half-decade.

 Anyway, let's move on to the real thing I want to talk about today:

 Kamen Rider doesn't mind killing characters.

 Actually, let me rephrase: Kamen Rider seems to get some sadistic glee out of killing characters.

 For a show that, as much as I'd like to pretend otherwise when I'm explaining to people why I own so much of its merchandise to my friends and family, is primarily marketed to Japanese preteens, Kamen Rider goes through its own characters like it has some kind of death quota. Once a given series hits its last ten episodes the Kamen Rider fandom starts holding its breath during every fight, painfully aware that this could be the episode where a beloved character abruptly bites it.

 Through the years of watching this show I've fallen for many different Riders and most of them are dead now because a Toei executive woke up in a bad mood. Today I want to talk about those Riders.

 As always, beware of spoilers for any and all Kamen Riders!

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Top Ten Creepy Kamen Rider Children

 I've mentioned before that Toei tends to revisit the themes and character types it really likes, and it's pretty obvious that for Toei, and especially Kamen Rider, creepy children rank up there. They rank so high that though this list was originally meant to include both Kamen Rider and Super Sentai, by the time I'd finished counting all the creepy children populating Kamen Rider I'd completely run out of space for, well, Kibaranger.

 "Children", in this sense, means any character under the age of eighteen, albeit with a focus on characters towards the lower age range. With that aside, let's view the nanny's nightmare gallery!

Friday, 8 April 2011

Five Top Kamen Rider Trolls

 Kamen Rider, like any other long-running franchise, has a number of character types that pop up again and again. The asshole who thinks he's right and everybody else is wrong (see: 555's Kusaka, Kiva's Nago). The gentle, sweet-natured hero who wishes we could all just get along (Agito's Shouichi, Ryuki's Shinji). And, in more recent times, another type has become increasingly common: the troll.

 You know that annoying guy who sets up camp on your favourite forum and does nothing but post anime macros in the middle of a serious discussion? Or the one who responds to your nine hundred word essay on why Ultraman is totally underrated with just "u mad?"? Toei loves that guy. He's become a pretty common fixture in Kamen Rider, to varying levels of success. Let's talk about the rise of the Kamen Rider troll and btw, you sound fat.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Five Kamen Riders Who Suck at Their Jobs

 One of this blog's most read posts is Five Reasons Not to Date a Kamen Rider, presumably because there are a lot of people who feel as strongly as I do about the future of their love lives in relation to fictional Japanese guys. But you know, it's not just romance that Kamen Riders generally fail at. They're pretty equal opportunity in their failure, which is why I'm presenting this new list to you.

 Listen, say what you like about Takumi but he did some serious laundry during 555. Agito's Hikawa did very little but his police work. Even the Blade Riders, who are otherwise doing pretty badly in the game of life, managed to convince me that their employment wasn't a total disaster.

 The Riders on this list, however, should never have been hired in the first place.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Five Sentai Heroes I Would (Not) Take Home to Mother

 My mother is a pretty chill, laidback sort of lady. When I told her I spend a significant chunk of my time watching and writing about Japanese kid's shows she basically took it in her stride and shrugged (though she's getting old, so she might not actually have heard me). And she's mellow about who I date too. She'll welcome into her home and family whoever makes me happy, so long as whoever makes me happy is a tall, well-spoken type who makes six figures a year.

 Hot off the heels of my declaration that I'd never date a Kamen Rider, I started wondering if I'd date a nice Sentai hero instead. And maybe I would, but here are the ones I would probably (not) take home to meet my mother.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Five Sentai Teams I Think I Could Take in a Fight

 As I currently lack the ability to spontaneously clad bright coloured spandex armour at will, I probably wouldn't challenge most Super Sentai teams to a match. One small British person who considers writing a stern letter the height of aggression against five or more armoured soldiers with copious combat experience is probably going to turn out pretty badly for me.

 Having said that, I think there's a couple of Sentai teams I'd have a good chance of taking. I'm not saying I'd seek them out for a fight, but if for some reason we were to meet in a dark alley I'd be pretty confident about my chances.